Kelly: How did you find your way into this amazing career back then?
Emma: I thought something. My PE teacher always forced me into leadership courses. Although I was 16 years old, I wanted to go to a career in diplomacy or something like that but I think that I started in Camden in Camden I did in Camden in Kamilya
After that I moved to America. More than anything, I just wanted to move to America. I don’t want to be a coach but I know I got a visa to enter the country and live in New York City.
Kelly: Who would you say has had the biggest impact on your career?
Emma: It has to be my parents. Dad saw something for me that I couldn’t. She is the biggest feminist I have ever met – as a working class person. He has three daughters, so one of us has to be football in a big way. But he is, because he pushes me and sometimes I hate it. I told Harry the other day when he was playing football … I stood on the touchline in silence. He said: ‘Mom, why didn’t you tell me?’ I said: ‘Because I hated it when my father did it to me, so I don’t want to do it to you.’ And he was really vocal that he wanted me to say a little bit, and I was like: ‘OK.’
Kelly: So I get this right … one of the best coaches in the world, goes to his son’s football and you are silent …
Emma: I stand by myself and I keep quiet.
Kelly: Can you tell him afterwards?
Emma: Only around happiness. Like, they played a game the other day…they lost 10-2. Inside, I was dying. And I got in the car and I was like: ‘What are you excited about right now?’ And he said: ‘Oh, I like to play.’ I want him to keep that love as long as possible.
Kelly: You mentioned two parents who had such a big impact… your mom too…
Emma: Mom just encouraged me to do what I want. He just supported us to go and do it. If I say to her, ‘Mum, I want to go and work for the UN.’ … ‘Oh, you go and do that, love, if you like.’ It’s almost like I’m given permission to explore and experiment. Being a mom now, I appreciate her in a million ways. He was a big part of my life then, but I think he’s an even bigger part of my life now because my father has passed. At this stage in life, I really feel like I really need my mom in different ways. So, for me, they are my biggest heroes. It helped me a lot, especially in menopause. Like when I have anxiety or things that I know I’m struggling with, she’ll say: ‘Just take the piece of paper, breathe in your mind.’
Kelly: It feels different from what your Mom said, doesn’t it?
Emma: I never suffered from anxiety until I had menopause. What I do know is that when you lose estrogen in your body, especially if you have sudden menopause, like I did – I didn’t have a gradual menopause, I had a sudden one. I had emergency surgery and if you lost your ovaries … Estrogen is not just a coconut in your body for your joints, what your brain – what starts your brain, ‘Hello, estrogen, where are you?’ And it can’t be found. Then there is a decrease in Dopamine and Serotonin. So your body is struggling and there’s a lot that can’t do it naturally, so your anxiety level goes up. That for me was exacerbated when I had Harry, but it intensified once I had sudden menopause.
Kelly: A football coach. Why is it so important to you to talk about things like that?
Emma: I think as a woman, we have to live our football life through a completely male lens and we are different. We think differently, have different needs, experience different games.
The thing that I love more about going to America is that they value female sports. I feel like I have to say this. I did a conference the other day and they asked about my early experiences with biases and they are shaped from childhood. Even if it is in coaching courses where you are the only woman, to referee again your male assistant and think that they are the coach. When you talk about certain things that people shouldn’t necessarily consider as aggressive behavior, they don’t know the position that women might feel in that situation. My father always said: ‘No, make it better for someone else even if you have to take a punch in the face.’ I think that is sometimes difficult. Sometimes I’m like, ‘Why did I put myself in that situation?’ Some days I’m like, ‘If I can make the path better for some other person then do it.’